Michael Jackson - Nature or Nurture?

I found out tonight, along with the rest of the world, that Michael Jackson died a few hours ago, aged 50.

It's such a shock to us all. He was such a talented man, a genius, the King of Pop!



Personally, I loved his act from the 80s. His songs, his music, his talent, from those earlier albums.
There will always be questions over the children, over the Paedophile claims, the court cases, etc, and personally, I do believe that he was a Paedo, and for that, I HATE him!

I hate Michael Jackson the Paedo, but I loved the artist Michael Jackson, from the 80s, who wrote and performed those amazing tracks from that period, such as Smooth Criminal, Billy Jean, Thriller, Bad, Leave Me Alone, and You Are Not Alone (which was a 90s track if I remember correctly, but you get my drift), etc.

What bothers me, and sorry for being cynical here, but i'm sure i'm not alone when I say this...

The guy was in debt, heaps of debt! Had the recession hit him harder because he's so broke anyway?

The guy was constantly being accused (whether rightly or not) of being a Paedo.

Was someone else about to accuse him? Would that have taken him under?

Was he able to afford the concerts at Wembley that were planned?

Even if they sold out, would that have gotten him out of debt?

Did he have the stamina to do all those concerts?

This begs the question, to me anyway, did he overdose, kill himself, which caused him to seemingly have a heart attack, or was it natural?

Was his heart attack natural, or nurtured by him?

And finally, has he faked his own death, by using one of his numerous doubles, and gone into hiding, because of all his debts, ready to have very private plastic surgery again to completely change his face, before entering the world once more as a different person?

A bit far fetched, but you never know!! It's amazing what money can buy these days! And it's a great way to still be able to live a great life, no doubt with money in a private bank account abroad, leaving his kids with plenty to live on, and still being able to live a full, private, complete life, under cover of another identity, debt free, and reasonably happy.

Just a thought!

If he has indeed died though, of natural causes, it's very sad.

If he topped himself, he lacks in courage, and he is pathetic!

RIP

I finally got together one each of the photos I have of my friends who have passed away these last few years, moreso this year. I hope they'll look after me, and keep me safe. I've framed them and put them on my wall to hopefully watch over me.



Top row is Ken, Graham and Vicky.
Bottom row is Pam and Nicholas.

Graham passed away a couple of years ago.
Ken passed away about the time I met Pinky last year.
Nicholas, Pam and Vicky all passed away this year.

Having their pictures, means I'll never forget them, and they'll be in my thoughts everytime I see their smiling faces.

Rest in Peace Vicky xxx

I've just been advised, from her partner Jay, that my friend Vicky passed away on Saturday.

Vicky was 41 years old. They have no idea how she died. The autopsy hasn't revealed any reason for this. It happened on Saturday monring, with all her pets and her partner around her, so she wasn't alone.

I didn't know Vicky very well. We met through Gaydar, and became friends. She used to send me little hand made cards and things through the post. I don't think I have them anymore though, which upsets me. I'll have to go look see if I can find them.

She was such a lovely person, so giving and sweet. She would give her all to anyone and everyone, one of the most generous people i've ever met.

This is such a sad loss. I may have only known her something like a year, but i'm still glad to have known her nevertheless, and am very sad that she has passed away.

Sweet dreams Vicky. Sleep well, and please guard over me the best you can.

Love Lisa
xxxxxxxxxx

Goodbye Pammy

I have just logged onto Facebook, to discover that one of my oldest friends, Pam, has passed away.

I knew Pam when she lived in Reading. We met something like 10 years ago. The night we met, was down the Granby Tavern in Reading. I fancied her, and as I went past her, I felt up her arse lol. We swapped numbers, and became good friends. We never were anything more than that, and I was really cool with that, because she was a great person, and I needed friends in my life more than anything.

I never used to be one for socialising, making friends. I'm the same now. I've always found it hard to socialise, make friends, and let myself go. Pam came into my life, and used to drag me out every Saturday to the Granby, before it had its make-over, when it was only on one floor, and we used to dance the night away, and have a right laugh. It was Pam that got me spiking my hair, and letting myself go. I became less shy through her support.

The biggest thing she helped me with, was when a right bitch on the scene started spreading the most awful rumour anyone could ever spread about a person. Those incredibly close to me, will know what i'm talking about, and will know the story, but will be unaware who was involved.

Pam and I were on our way back from a gay club in London. Funny enough, that night i'd bumped into one of my much older friends, Sarah, who I hadn't seen in years, with her partner.

Sarah and I both came out to each other on the phone at the same time, it was really weird. We were both scared of what the other would think, as we were good mates and scared of rejection, but we had such a laugh about it afterwards, and it was such a relief lol.

Anyway, so Pam and I are on our way back from London in Pam's car, and we stop off at a service station. The sun is coming up at this point, early hours of the morning. I must have been about 25.

Pam had received a phone call from a certain woman, who saw fit to tell her that I was a certain type of person. Nothing like 'oh she's a bitch' or anything like that, something far FAR worse! Pam asked me some questions, for which I replied honestly, then she told me what she had been told, and who told her. I burst into tears. Apparently this person had been spreading this malicious gossip about me all over the scene in Reading. I was devistated. To be accused of being one of the worst types of people on the planet is one thing, but having everyone else think that of you is another.

It took me ages to calm down from this, and to be honest, even today, i'm still angry, scared and shocked over this.

So with Pam's help, giving me insider details of where this person works, and what she did for a living etc, I managed, with the help of a Solicitor, to send her a Solicitors letter stating that she either retract the statement, and stop telling people this most awful of lies, or we would take her to court for deformation of character.

Thankfully that stopped the rumour, and it simmered out, and again with Pams help, we managed to put everyone right on the subject, and it ended.

It's still one of the reasons why I moved to Birmingham though, because of the shame of this rumour, and the reputation I had gained from it, which I didn't like.

Needless to say, if it wasn't for Pam sticking by me as a mate, looking after me, and helping me to gain the knowledge to go to a Solicitor with, and for just being a fucking good mate to me when I needed it, and even when I didn't, I probably wouldn't be here today.

The last time I saw Pam, was after I moved to Brum, and she moved to Brighton. I went to the first Reading Pride a number of years ago, and Pam was there with her new partner, Paula, whom she was living in Brighton with. She seemed like a really nice person, and I could tell they were in love.

That was the last time I saw her. We've spoken since then, and talked online as well, and i've seen up to date photos of her online, of her boat when she had one etc. She always wanted to move to Brighton, it was her life long dream, and she managed it, and from what I can tell, she had a wonderful life there. She always offered to have me stay with her and her partner there, but I never took her up on the offer. I now wish I had, for she has now passed away, and I missed out on that opportunity to spend some quality time with my mate, catch up, and have a memorable blast.

I love you Pam. You were a great mate to me, and I will never forget that. You came into my life when I needed a good mate, and you brought me out of the shy world, and changed me. You got me dancing instead of hiding in the corner, you got me dressing nicer, doing my hair spikey, and gave me courage. You have inspired me to follow my dream of being a HGV/courier driver, like you partner is, and supported me when I needed a friendly ear, and a shoulder to cry on.

I will truly miss you Pam. You are a wonderful person, a much loved person, and I for one will miss you so much.

It's horrible when someone dies, and you wish you had had the chance to say things to them that you never had the chance to say when they were alive. I wish I could have said all these things, and thanked you so much for being there for me etc when you were alive, but alas I never did it, and for that, i'm so very sorry. If you're looking down on me now, I hope you're reading this, and you know what you have meant to me, and how you have changed my life for the better.

If a person can change the life of another for the better, just one person, in their whole entire life, then their life has been worth living. I can say 100% that you are that person. You changed my life, and that is why I know you're in heaven, looking down on us all and smiling.

Take care babe, sleep well, and look after us all in our times of need, like only you could. It's been a wonderful pleasure knowing you, and i'm proud to say you were a friend of mine. Thank you for being my friend. Goodbye babe