Jade Goody & John Suchet

A few months ago, when I found out Jade Goody had cancer; I immediately, embarrassingly, thought it was a lie. I thought it was a publicity stunt, because she had gone onto the Indian version of Big Brother, to make amends for the way she treated Shilpa on our Big Brother the year before. All that drama when she found out, and her flying back etc, I honestly thought she was lying, and it was all one huge publicity stunt, for her to gain sympathy, after being seen as such a horrible bitch on TV for being racist.

Part of me also thought maybe she already knew this information prior to going into the house, and used the information to her advantage, again for public sympathy etc.

I am ashamed to admit all that, but it was honestly how I felt. I don't know why I see the worst in everyone. Maybe it's because I’ve been shat on so many times in my life, that I find it hard to believe there is good in anyone on this planet. Actually, I’d say that last comment was pretty damn accurate!

Needless to say, Jade is dying. It wasn't a lie, it was the truth, and the poor girl has days, maybe weeks to live. I feel so fucking guilty for thinking she was lying when she was told.

I do feel like shit now, for thinking any of this, and I feel so sorry for her, Jack, and her children. I can completely understand why she wants to do this docu, the photo shoot for the mag, and all the publicity, because not only is it helping other women to see how important it is to have the smear test, but it's also helping her raise money to give her children a healthy financially secure future.

I bow my head to Jade Goody now. I never liked her, and still don't, but for what she's doing, and for what she's achieved in her life, I think she's an amazing person, and I feel so sorry for her, because she's so young, and dying. My heart goes out to her and all her loved ones.

Equally, I also feel for John Suchet and his wife, Bonnie. Bonnie has Dementia, and is slowly dying, and after 3 years, John has stepped forward, and announced this to the world, to help him with the healing process, but also to help others to deal with this terrible illness.

I am so scared personally, that one of my parents, or indeed my Nan might one day come down with this terrible illness, it truly scares me to think that one day they might not know who I am, etc. I really have no idea how I would deal with that; I’d probably fall apart.

You have to be such a strong person to handle that, and it's quite obvious that if John hadn't had the NHS nurse helping him, and the support he's received from the counselling services, he wouldn't be as strong as he appears on TV. Thank God for charities, counselling services, support services, and nurses and medical staff for all they do, to help people like John, his wife, Jade, and her family, cope with these terrible illnesses and diseases that are ruining and destroying their lives.